I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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