maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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