You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
