U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
