Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have post one night stand depression
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
