She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
