I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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