wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
