there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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