god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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