I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
