I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
