What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
