Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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