i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
