I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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