I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize