U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
