Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
