Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
