Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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