I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
