no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
