he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
