my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
