Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
