Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
