this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
