I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
