he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sobbing to NWA
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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