She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
