Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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