Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
