She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
