I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
