We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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