I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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