shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
