What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
