is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
