Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Bring me that man meat
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
