i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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