what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
time to smoke my breakfast
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize