You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
