No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize