she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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