I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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