It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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