My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
