we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My ass is underappreciated
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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