I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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