grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you never un-have a 4some
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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