Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
