Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
