How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
