so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
