you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize