He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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